it's been a while...

but there have been a few really great occurrences lately...

1. from the new york times:

Against the Aging Crisis II: A Day for Mating in Russia

By Mike Nizza

Tags: aging, economics, russia

The Lede turns to an android from “Star Trek” for a segue from our last post on Japan’s robotic solution to another interesting bit of aging news today.

“Human bonding rituals often involve a great deal of talking, and dancing, and crying,” the character called “Data” once said on the show.

In 2007, though, who has time for all of that? Leave it to a Russian province worried about its dwindling population to come up with a solution. From Agence France-Presse:

Bureaucrats in Russia’s Ulyanovsk province urged residents Wednesday to do their patriotic duty and make love, with prizes for anyone producing a child on the country’s constitution day, in exactly nine months.

As added encouragement, the governor gave couples the day off from work for the Day of Conception, and promised incentives like cars and refrigerators for anyone delivering the goods nine months from now, The Associated Press added.

It’s just one of many attempts to address what President Vladimir V. Putin called “Russia’s most acute problem today”: plummeting fertility rates. In July, the government reported some progress on the problem, eliciting a plaudit for the parents from Mr. Putin. “We have great champions,” he said.

I tell you, russia always has fantastic solutions for their problems...

2. from our favorite standby, cnn.com...

Man dies after 3-day gaming binge

BEIJING, China (AP) -- A man in southern China appears to have died of exhaustion after a three-day Internet gaming binge, state media said Monday.

The 30-year-old man fainted at a cyber cafe in the city of Guangzhou Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported.

Paramedics tried to revive him but failed and he was declared dead at the cafe, it said. The paper said that he may have died from exhaustion brought on by too many hours on the Internet.

The report did not say what the man, whose name was not given, was playing.

The report said that about 100 other Web surfers "left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man's death."

China has 140 million Internet users, second only to the U.S.. It is one of the world's biggest markets for online games, with tens of millions of players, many of whom hunker down for hours in front of PCs in public Internet cafes.

Several cities have clinics to treat what psychiatrists have dubbed "Internet addiction" in users, many of them children and teenagers, who play online games or surf the Web for days at a time

Sometimes I seriously doubt the people in this world..

3. my reports on the German obsession with native americans was covered by the NYT! check it out...


anyway, all for now!

stupid travellers

so part of my job is to research what travel sites have to say about lviv. well, one day, in doing such research, i stumbled upon this gem of a blog:

http://tripadvisor.typepad.com

some of the entries are not that funny, but others...definitely worth reading.

of vikings and sea-faring...

so i know this makes it look like i am overly obsessed with posting on this blog, since i do make like... 80 percent of the entries. but this is another great article, this time covered by the bbc.

Viking ship attempts sea crossing

The Sea Stallion set out at midnight on Sunday BBC History: Viking Voyage

A Viking Ship is on its way to the British Isles from Norway.

The Sea Stallion, the biggest replica Viking vessel ever constructed, is bound for Kirkwall in Orkney.

It is part of a 1,000-mile journey from Denmark to Ireland over seven weeks; and aims to understand better the seamanship of early Norsemen.

A BBC team is following the "living archaeology" project in a support boat to make a film for the Timewatch series later in the year.

The volunteer crew has already faced severe weather conditions on the journey from Denmark to Norway, with several individuals being taken off the Sea Stallion temporarily because they were showing the early signs of hypothermia.

"This journey has been tough so far but the crew are in high spirits and looking forward to reaching Scotland and sailing in the Atlantic," said crew member Louise Henriksen.

See the Viking warship in detail

The weather could yet thwart the attempt to cross the North Sea by sail - the harsh weather conditions that have swept across the UK are predicted to bring a gale which could blow the Sea Stallion back towards Norway.

Wind worry

If that happens, the project's organisers may call for the ship to be towed by its support vessel. Skipper Carsten Hvidsaid said: "The aim of the project is to test this ship out in the waters the original Viking ship sailed in.

"It's better that we get to Scotland and start sailing there, than spend the whole summer waiting in Norway for the right winds."

The original Sea Stallion was made in 1042, and is believed to have taken part in clashes between the Anglo-Saxons and Normans in 1050-1060, when many Danish Vikings lived in Ireland.

The boat sank in the Roskilde fjord at the end of the 11th Century, while defending the country's coast from Norwegian Vikings.

The replica was constructed from about 300 oak trees and using 7,000 iron nails and rivets.

At 30m (100ft) in length, the Sea Stallion is said to be the world's largest reconstructed Viking vessel.

The ship hopes to reach Dublin in mid-August.

The ship's crew are writing a weekly diary for the BBC News website. More regular updates and a satellite map of the ship's latest position can be found at BBC History's Viking Voyage website.

THE SEA STALLION FROM GLENDALOUGH 1. The crew of 65 men and women will sleep on the open deck, as the Vikings did, and take turn keeping watch 2. Satellite navigation equipment will make sure the ship stays on course. Vikings had to rely on the position of the sun and stars, the colour and movement of the sea and wind direction 3. Oak planks were cut radially for maximum strength, overlapped and nailed together. Axes and other tools used to make the planks were replicas of those used by the Vikings 4. The sail, mast, rigging and rudder on the original were missing so these have been copied from other finds 5. Shields, vital in battle, were tied over the oarports when the ship was in port Sources: Viking Ship Museum, Denmark; National Maritime Museum, UK. Photos: Werner Karrasch and Erwan Crouan in case you didn't catch it, they have a website, too. check it out!

whoa there...

um... people.com is amazing, and it is almost completely filling the deep hole in my heart that was caused by the end of f-20's subscription to people magazine. if only the crossword puzzle were up online, the hole could be filled...

anyway, reporting on the stories that really matter, we have:

World's Tallest Man Weds Woman Who Reaches His Elbow

the picture is fantastic. i don't know what is going on in this picture, but it's just amazing.


awesome. remind me to say no of a 7'9" man proposes to me. i'm not even 5'6" (though, less than an inch shy)

also: he's 56 and she's 28. there's something disturbing about that...

and for the animal lovers out there, he's made headlines as the save the earth types:

Bao made headlines in December when he used his long arms to pull dangerous scraps of plastic out of the stomachs of two dolphins, saving their lives. The dolphins had gotten sick after munching on the plastic on the edge of their pool at an aquarium in northeast China, and veterinarians were unable to remove the scraps with surgical instruments.

ps. she's sort of a mail order bride. check out the text of the article. sweet.

sometimes i don't understand this place...

i already told kate about htis, but it is too good to be missed...

so there is a law here that is you can't drink in public places. so when you walk down the street, everybody is drinking beer, which started some confusion in my mind. why were people drinking everywhere if it is illegal? and even if a cop is visible!

so i was talking to a friend about drinking here in russia. as it so turns out... it IS illegal to drink in public places, but somehow, streets do not count as public. just parks, public transportation, etc.

does that make sense to anybody?? seriously, there's something funny with the russkies.

also!

can someone please explain to me why the tour de france is starting in england? and continuing on into belgium? i mean, i understand "france" is not a strict concept in terms of the tour--but it seems wrong to me that the first major day would be not in france--and that it would be somewhere not even reachable on bike from france...

don't the europeans know anything??

cnn does it again!

this is a classic, guys...
Girl, 11, charged with DUI after high-speed chase

ORANGE BEACH, Alabama (AP) -- Police who chased a car for miles along a highway at speeds up to 100 mph said the driver was drunk, hardly a rarity in this resort town. But there was more: When they looked inside the flipped vehicle with guns drawn, they found an 11-year-old girl at the wheel.
"You go up there thinking it's a felon you're dealing with," assistant police Chief Greg Duck said.
The girl, who was slightly injured in the crash, is now charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, speeding, reckless endangerment and leaving the scene of an accident. Duck said she sideswiped another vehicle during the roughly 8-mile chase.
The chase began around 10:30 p.m. Tuesday when a patrol officer near the Florida line saw the car speeding west along a beach highway, Duck said. When the officer flicked on his lights, the driver sped up. The girl rolled the car just inside the Gulf Shores city limit.
Duck said the girl, whose name was not released because of her age, told police she was on her way to pick up her sister at a concert.
Investigators found no alcohol in the car but believe the girl drank before getting behind the wheel of the car, which belongs to relatives.
Duck declined to release the girl's blood alcohol level but said a blood test at the hospital showed it was higher than .02, the legal limit for minors.

the attack of the sturgeon

So, I had some free time at work the other day (the general uselessness of this job is rather breathtaking, particularly considering my hourly income is approximately 22 US DOLLARS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD), and I was perusing the NYT most emailed articles and came across this one:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/04/us/04sturgeon.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

It was awfully awkward, seeing as I was writhing and grimacing throughout with all my coworkers in the room...

back in the USSR

[you don't know how lucky you are...]

well, i would first like to note the changes i made to the blog. since we are, in fact, no longer residents of leverett f-20, nor, save a housing catastrophe, will we ever be in the future, i thought it would be acceptable to make some changes.

anyway, i have now been here in the motherland a full week and some change, and i thought i might provide a few comments on the general efficiency of the country, for the enjoyment of the blog.

• my adventures with uselessness here began almost immediately upon arrival. since i had the rather splendid treat of having my luggage get temporarily misplaced, i had a whole batch of adventures with general incompetence. where to begin??
  - First: they began with some forms. i had to fill out a lot of paperwork. lots of forms. but here's the thing. it was, in the end, only one form. but i had to fill it out a good 3 times, becasue they evidently believe in copy machines or even carbon copy.
  -also to note, though i dutifully informed the lovely lady that i had searched throughout the room to no avail, she need to walk around with me. though i told her my suitcase was RED, she still felt the need to ask if each unclaimed BLACK suitcase was, in fact, my own, and i had simply failed to notice it.
  -then, the waiting room! after filling out paperwork, i had to discuss the issue with another employee. now, this would be totally standard at any airport. but still, it was done with a level of russianness that every comrade would admire. so i waited in line. i was fortunate, i was the third there in our rather large group of flights that came in about the same time. but they, of course, had a single person working. and she accepted one at a time. so i still had to wait a good 45 minute or so before i could actually talk to the person, simply to tell her that i had a red bag, with wheels, etc. they were then kind enough to give me a phone number so i could call them starting the next day to get updates.
  -next adventure involved calling them. seriously, should not be a big deal. i called around 10 am. busy. and again. and again. and agan. calling them on and off for a good 45 minutes. finally i got through. luckly the person spoke english. i gave her my claim number (but evidently she couldn't hear me say one of the numbers, which caused great misunderstanding... it took quite some time to get that straightend out). finally, she tells me to call again at 8 pm. so i do. busy. and at 8:30. busy. 9... 11... busy busy busy. the next morning? also busy. so what good does the freaking number do? though, to their credit, my suitcase did FINALLY arrive on monday night, just before midnight. oy vey.
• then there was the fun nature of getting registered. not a major hassle, but it did involve copious amounts of running around.
• and then, finally, this office! it is fantastic. actually, i quite admire the work they do here. someone is here at the office around the clock, which in itself is quite admirable. the people here clearly believe in the work they are doing, which is great. but what work they do? somewhat limited by their copious amounts of tea drinking and internet surfing. and the best part? over the course of 6 days--all of which i was in the office between 6 and 8 hours-- they have found actually NOTHING for me to do, except to sit in their library and educate myself on human rights issues (a very worthy task, don't get me wrong--but i am not here to read books for myself--harvard is paying me good money to work as in "intern." but i don't jsut read. sometimes i even check my email. today, someone was supposed to be here who would actually be able to find me some work today. well, she was here. a lovely lady, really. but she told me that tomorrow at 11 am she would have time to get me started on something. so, here is day 6 of my internship, with nothing yet accomplished. but i do ever so much like it here.

oh motherland, how i do love thee!

Medicare is useless

So now that I'm interning on the Hill in DC, I'm expecting that I'll run into various examples of government goof-ups. Well, here's the first one. This afternoon I went to a House subcommittee hearing on beneficiary protections in medicare part D. The first witness is the acting administrator for the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS). She blabs on for her allotted 5 minutes on how CMS is working to improve medicare, what a great job they're doing and how they have an 80% approval rating. So far, pretty standard. The next witness is a medicare specialist in the Government Accountability Office. She outlines a GAO report which basically shows that CMS made prescription drug coverage retroactive for beneficiaries but (whoops) didn't inform them of their right to reimbursement. This is a bit of a problem considering that congress gave CMS 100 million dollars to provide these services to medicare beneficiaries. Needless to say, the congressmen are a little peeved.

So they begin the Q+A session with the first witness, which is supposed to last maybe 5-15 minutes. Soon it becomes apparent that CMS doesn't know where the 100 million dollars went ("but we'd like to know!") It also comes out that CMS isn't paying pharmacists, is avoiding collaborating with state insurance agencies, and is using aggressive and potentially illegal marketing tactics, among many other mishaps. Oops. The congressmen were furious with her, especially since she didn't know how to answer even their most basic questions. I left 2 hours into the hearing and they were still grilling this one witness (by the way, there were 5 more to go after her). So yeah. Politics is pretty special. Looking forward to hearing some good stories from the Motherland as well. If American politics is this awesome, I can't wait to hear what's going on there.

speaking of animals...

i am ridiculously tired of reading about those dang humpback whales. is anyone else with me? so i only get the headlines, but it seems like i have been reading about them every single day for the last few weeks...

good news, though. apparently they are safe. check out the cnn.com article...

perhaps the best news is that apparently we have learned something about whales. i certainly learned something. that whales, like most animals out there, are incredibly useless. i hate to think about how much public money went to saving these two stupid whales... i just can't believe it was particularly well spent. who knows how long it will be before they travel another 100 miles down a river again.

Luckily, the CNN.com article ends with a message of hope:

"Officials were unsure how much was spent on the rescue efforts, but they insisted the expenditures of time and money were justified, if not required under wildlife protection laws.

"They urged people who were captivated by the whales and followed their progress to transfer their energy to protecting marine habitats."

Sign me up. I want my energy to go to protecting marine habitats, too!

and yes, that was accompanied by a grand roll of the eyes. oh, california! add this to the reasons why i don't like that state.

animals are amazing. so is the bbc.

from the bbc....

Gorilla goes on Dutch zoo rampage

Visitors at the Dutch zoo take cover as the gorilla breaks free of its enclosure Enlarge Image

A 180kg (400-pound) gorilla has escaped from its enclosure and run amok at Rotterdam zoo in the Netherlands.

Witnesses reported seeing the gorilla, a dominant male, climb the enclosure's wall and apparently bite a woman, as well as injuring three other people.

The zoo was evacuated as the gorilla was subdued by a sedative dart after it sought refuge inside a zoo building.

The Diergaarde Blijdorp Zoo, which was packed with visitors on a holiday weekend, later reopened.

Many people in the Netherlands were taking advantage of a national holiday to make a long weekend.

Somehow Bokito escaped from his enclosure

The 11-year-old gorilla, called Bokito, managed to climb a high wall to escape from his enclosure.

"He got over the moat, which in itself is remarkable because gorillas can't swim," zoo director Ton Dorrestijn told reporters.

Visitors then described scenes of panic, as families ran screaming from the animal.

"I saw the beast running through the park with a woman behind him, him grabbing her forearm," eyewitness Robert De Jonge told NOS radio.

"He bit her, or I think he bit her, because when he stood up his mouth was covered in blood," Mr De Jonge said.

Some visitors tried to barricade themselves in a restaurant, but Bokito smashed part of a door and gained entry. He was eventually trapped there by zoo staff and tranquilised.

None of the injured was thought to be in a serious condition.

ugly baby! thank you, full house!

alana, kate, and i definitely have our priorities set. with finals approaching (kate is in one now, alana has one this afternoon), we spent a glorious evening watching full house. featured yesterday was a terribly special baby.

check out tony!




i am not sure who looks worse... uncle jesse, or tony?



i like how you can see the star wars box. clearly we have our priorities straight.

um, guys, this is just wrong...

yeah... no further description necessary.

an amazing children's book...

you'll have to click here for book. i tried to link images, but apparently the website forbids it.

but here's a hint. it involves a naughty horse and drugs and learning how to say no.

my DARE officer would be so proud.

worst album covers ever...

a friend sent me the link for the worst album covers ever.

here are a couple great ones... and the rest are here...

It has been found!

No more pining after the lost "THE END OF THE HARVARD" video. It has returned to our lives!

http://www.mollyclare.com/flash/theend.html

I have never loved Ukraine more than when I saw this picture.

You guys, why don't we get to live in Europe? I feel so left out when it comes to Eurovision time and I see all the beautiful costumes:

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/05/its_that_time_o.html

Bad pet idea

Sigh. This is a pretty good one guys.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18618034/

interesting fashion choices...

gofugyourself.com is fantastic, really. they presented us with some prime specimens today:

help me! I just can't decide which is worst!

blair goes hi-tech!

From the BBC:

Blair praises Sarkozy on Youtube

Mr Blair recorded the video at 10 Downing Street

Tony Blair has taken a giant leap into cyberspace - by using the Youtube website to congratulate France's new leader Nicolas Sarkozy on his poll win.

Mr Blair shows off his language skills by recording the message in French.

Part of the clip has been broadcast on a TV news channel in France, with the presenter saying the UK prime minister's French was "not bad".

Mr Blair has long been seen as a technophobe, being described by former colleagues as "a pen and paper person".

New Labour's former media chief, Alistair Campbell, last year said of Mr Blair: "He tries - he's got a computer screen on his desk... it's pretty idle."

Co-operation pledge

The prime minister's message to Mr Sarkozy, who will succeed Jacque Chirac as French president, appears on Downing Street's very own Youtube "channel".

He says: "I wish to convey my heartfelt congratulations to Nicolas Sarkozy on his victory.

"Nicolas is somebody with whom I have had occasion to work many times, whom I admire and whom I regard as a friend."

Mr Blair said Britain would be "pleased to co-operate" with president-elect Mr Sarkozy.

"Of course, he faces a huge task, but I know that he has the necessary energy and loftiness to face up to it successfully."

Mr Blair, who speaks French fluently, also praised the French people for the high turnout in the elections and the quality of debate during the campaign.

He is thought to be the first world leader to have his own channel on Youtube.

So far, the French version of the message has racked up almost 2,000 views, while the English alternative is lagging behind with about 350 hits.

en français, en anglais



and while you watch blair speak in french, think about how laughable it would be if bush tried to do something similar.

I hate celebrities

They're worthless. Here's why:
1: They wear ugly clothes.
2: They often lack talent.
3: They spend too much time shopping, partying and dating each other.
4. They make comments like this:

Lohan, who stars opposite Felicity Huffman and Jane Fonda in the upcoming Universal Pictures film "Georgia Rule," also showed off a white tattoo of the word "breathe" on the inside of her wrist.

"And it's 'breathe' because?" asked DeGeneres.

"I forget to breathe sometimes," Lohan replied.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/03/people.lindsaylohan.ap/index.html

google is amazing.

so, yesterday, kate and i decided to look up driving directions from chicago to moscow...
check out these directions from google.



a close look, so you can actually read it:


step 19: swim across the atlantic ocean. 3,462 miles.

and next step?

slight right...

awesome. road trip to the motherland, coming right up!

the motherland strikes again...

Oh my goodness. A friend gave me a link to this article. and it just gets better and better as it goes on.

first: the title. obviously a gem: Mysterious dwarfish alien brutally murdered in Russia's remote village.
[one question: is there a specific remote village that this is obviously referring to?? this is THE remote village of russia. sweet.]

next, a picture of alioshenka:


the article is all about the murder of this alien. this story has it all: murder, conspiracy, aliens, bad smells... fantastic!

one great quote about alioshenka and his smell:
"the smell was pretty agreeable yet somewhat nauseous at the same time."

I am not really sure what that means.

Anyway, i would summarize for you all, but it is better to just go the the article... fantastic!

enjoy!

This may possibly be the worst thing ever

For the love of God, what are these girls wearing? Gofugyourself often has some really special clothes, but I honestly think this takes the cake.

a whole website dedicated to useless animals.

What's better? They link to even more useless websites. Like pandafix, a site all about pandas.

cuteoverload.com



one of my good friends from back in the day links to this site from facebook. how awesome/useless. I feel like there is a good chance marina will enjoy this...

Weird

Once again, CNN delivers the news.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/EDUCATION/04/05/clothespins.punishment.ap/index.html

numbly wumbly and proud!

check this motivational site out!

http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

I am pretty sure this guy has to be amazing... and pretty sure he probably qualifies as negatively useless, probably actually quite useful.

so, dont understand me to be making fun of him or anything... but seriously! it's called life without limbs! i thought it deserved mention.

Cripple Panda

Only on CNN...

BEIJING, China (Reuters) -- An animal research center in northern China has appealed to the world for help to fashion an artificial leg for a panda that lost a limb in a fight, local media reported on Thursday.

In December, a resident of Dajiangou village in Shaanxi province stumbled upon a group of pandas fighting, the Beijing News said.

One seriously injured panda, a two- or three-year-old female that rescuers named "Niu Niu" (girl), was taken to an animal rescue center and saved, but lost two-thirds of its front left leg. (Watch Niu Niu move around without her front leg)

"Niu Niu's spirits have lifted, the wound has healed and her appetite has basically recovered. But without her left paw, her loss of balance has directly affected her love life," the paper said.

"The rescue center's staff suddenly had a bold idea. If they could give Niu Niu an artificial limb, not only would that solve her walking and foraging for food, it would also enable her to mate."

Staff were appealing to the world's experts for suggestions and hoped to receive a plan for a "meticulously scientific" fake limb as soon as possible, the paper said.

China goes to great lengths to protect the giant panda, which is regarded a national treasure and found only in nature reserves in the country's Sichuan, Gansu and Shaanxi provinces.

Last July, Chinese vets and dentists were planning an operation to implant three false teeth in a panda injured after a fall in the wild in the same province, local media reported.

cnn does it again!

Squirrel birth control aims to curb breeding frenzy

Squirrels in Santa Monica, California, have birth control shots in their future. SANTA MONICA, California (AP) -- Officials have tried poison, gassing and euthanasia to control a breeding frenzy among squirrels in a city park here. Now, they plan to give birth control a shot. Under a new program to start this summer, squirrels in Palisades Park will be injected with an immuno-contraceptive vaccine to stunt their sexual development. "We don't want to kill them if we don't have to," said Joe McGrath, the city's parks chief. "I personally like squirrels, but we also have to be receptive to the county's concerns." Health officials say the squirrels, which number about 1,000 in the park, pose a public health risk. They warn that the rodents are aggressive and may carry rabies or host fleas that can spread disease, such as bubonic plague. Since 1998, Santa Monica has been cited five times by Los Angeles County for squirrel overpopulation. But the suppression methods it has used, including euthanasia, have angered animal-loving activists. City officials say the infertility shots offer a diplomatic solution. The vaccine, developed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, stops ovulation and lactation in female squirrels, and testicular development in males. The shots, running $2 to $10, have no side effects such as swelling, said James Gionfriddo, a USDA wildlife biologist. Santa Monica would be the second city in the state, after Berkeley, to try the immunization program. Animal activist Catherine Rich said she supports the vaccine program but believes any health risk posed by the squirrels is overblown. "There is not a pressing threat of squirrels attacking people," Rich said, "so I don't know why the county is getting their panties in a bunch."

Take a guess where I found this gem

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- A helicopter is not necessarily a match for an angry moose.

Instead of slowing down after being shot with a tranquilizer dart, a moose charged a hovering helicopter used by a wildlife biologist, damaging the aircraft's tail rotor and forcing it to the ground.

Neither the pilot nor the biologist was injured, but the moose was maimed by the spinning rotor and had to be euthanized, wildlife officials said.

"It just had to be one of those quirky circumstance. Even dealing with bears and goats and moose and wolves, this is pretty unusual and truly a very unique situation," said Doug Larsen, regional supervisor for the Division of Wildlife Conservation.

Biologist Kevin White was aboard the chartered helicopter on Saturday for a study of moose near Gustavus, a community of 459 people about 50 miles northwest of Juneau in southeast Alaska. Moose outnumber humans there 2-to-1, White has written in an essay for the Department of Fish and Game Web site.

He shot the animal with a tranquilizer dart, Larsen said, and the pilot maneuvered the helicopter to keep the animal from slipping into a tight space or collapsing in water and drowning.

"The moose would start to move, and then the helicopter would back off and try to keep the moose out in the open," Larsen said.

But instead of moving toward open space, the moose charged the helicopter.

"As the animal got closer and closer to going down, an animal sort of loses its thinking -- its ability to rationalize what's in its best interest," Larsen said.

oops, switzerland is dumb

this gem appeared in the new york times yesterday:

Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein

ZURICH, Switzerland (AP) -- What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

A spokesman for the Swiss army confirmed the story but said that there were unlikely to be any serious repercussions for the mistaken invasion.

''We've spoken to the authorities in Liechtenstein and it's not a problem,'' Daniel Reist told The Associated Press.

Officials in Liechtenstein also played down the incident.

Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. ''It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something,'' he said.

Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.

mystery noise

is it possible for a cookie box to produce a small humming noise when placed on a table? because that seems to be what was happening around 2:40 am in the common room. the gladwear (disposable tupperwear) box made a vibrating noise when on our table ... but when anna picked it up, the noise went away .... only to come BACK when she returned the box to the table!! ??????? um, maybe the box was expressing its discontent at being disposable.

wikipedia for dummies??

this is the wikipedia article on the trabant. this is in the "simple english" edition... i can't believe how badly this is written!

Trabant

From Wikipedia, a free encyclopedia written in simple English for easy reading.

Jump to: navigation, search

A parking lot in East Berlin, in 1983. Mainly Trabants, a white Wartburg and a dark green Lada

The Trabant (or Trabi) was a series of cars built in the German Democratic Republic. When the first cars were released, people saw them as being full of innovations. The cars were also easy on fuel, they did not need much fuel. Unfortunately, the company who built the car did not innovate, so soon, the cars were showing the age of the technolgy that was used. At least they were robust.

Between 1957 and 1990, about 3 million "Trabant" were built. As of January 2005, about 67.000 such cars were still registered.

....awesome. at least they were robust....

link to wikipedia for dummies!

WTF

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/22/porn.sword.ap/index.html

I really just don't understand the rest of humanity.

cosmo > work

it's a great day when the residents of F20 ignore their work in favor of ... cosmo and people magazine. we clearly have our priorities straight.

This has to be the weirdest thing ever

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/02/21/colombia.clowns.reut/index.html

i felt it shouldn't go unmentioned...

well, since even the BBC readership has evidently proclaimed the overarching importance of this story, i just figured i would throw out britney's new style, which has garnered ever too much attention...

so, the problems i have with this are threefold.
1. she freaking shaved her head. enough said. it was a poor choice.
2. the pictures of her with a shaved head were taken when she was getting a tattoo of lips on her wrist. granted, a small one. but still, another poor choice.

but alas. perhaps the most concerning?
3. the world seems to care. perhaps the poorest choice.

england's questionable statues

among the wonderful things great britain has to offer are some really bizarre statues.

exhibit A:

that's churchill in the background. he's looking a bit dumpy.


exhibit B:

... what is hanging down from the cow's stomach??? actually, the thing has horns so i guess it's a male cow. what typically hangs from the stomachs of male cows?

Ah, Motherland!

my dad sent me this article while we were in London, and I just remembered it this morning....



Lenin greets Antarctic adventurers

Mon Jan 22, 11:09 PM ET

A team of British and Canadian adventurers has described the "surreal" experience of arriving at the most remote point in Antarctica -- only to find a bust of Russian revolutionary Vladimir Lenin.

The team was the first to reach the Pole of Inaccessibility (POI), the point on the Antarctic continent that is farthest from all surrounding seas, on foot.

But an expedition from the former Soviet Union, using huge mechanised snow vehicles, reached the pole in 1958 and set up a small camp there.

"When we were within six kilometres of the position signalled on the GPS we noticed a black dot on the horizon," Teamn2i said on their website.

"As we got closer an outline of (a) bust started to appear -- we could not believe it as we were expecting at the very best a mound of snow from when Lenin was left there 48 years ago.

"He is standing on a chimney of the old Soviet hut about two meters above the snow line -- he is a shoulder bust of Lenin larger than life size.

"It is made of some plastic composite -- he is totally frost free as if he was put there yesterday.

"It (is) so so very surreal. We are all so exhausted that we have only just put up the tent with Lenin's stern gaze over us!"

Britons Rory Sweet, Rupert Longsdon, Henry Cookson, who together won the 2005 Scott Dunn Polar Challenge, and Canadian Paul Landry reached the POI last Friday after a seven-week trek across the ice.

They had walked or used kite skis to cover more than 1,000 miles (1,600 kilometres) dragging 120 kilogram sleds


you can go here for the details! go to recent news and check out around the 19th of January.


he's everywhere!

i hate customer service.

 

Midget seeing-eye horse

Title says it all

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/28/guide.horse.ap/index.html

Sports fans are useless

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/nfl/specials/playoffs/2006/01/21/bc.fbn.bears.earlydeliv.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

Is it just me, or is something about this story a little weird?

Kitten cannon

I'm not kidding. It's a game where you shoot a cat out of a cannon and watch it bounce along a field of explosives, trampolines, spikes and other objects to see how far it goes. Of course, using my great knowledge of physics I know that it is best to send it off at 45 degrees, though ultimately you have to just hope it doesn't get eaten by a venus fly trap (which yes, is one of the objects on the field). Also, Daft Punk plays in the opening credits. I think this game pretty much sums up the spirit of F20.

http://addictinggames.com/kittencannon.html

when deer attack

http://www.emailthis.clickability.com/et/emailThis?clickMap=viewThis&etMailToID=708190402&pt=Y

again, cnn - thank you for bringing us the stories that really matter.

not so cute

is this thing missing a mouth or what? how embarrassing.

descended from losers?

apparently i have [german/prussian] ancestors who were generals in the napoleonic wars (for the holy roman empire), and both world wars (the general in WWII, in defense of my non-Nazi family were not directly related to me, and the one who was in the military hated Hitler). in other words, my family is partially responsible for a lot of military defeat and loss. i guess not all is bad, though. we also fought in the franco-prussian war, which was terribly successful, provided you weren't french. one even died in belgium barely a month after WWI broke out! how honorable!

plus, they looked ridiculous and prussian in all these old photographs. hooray! i have a lot to look forward to!

also, my great great great great grandfather weighed over 300 german pounds, which is based on a 500g pound, as opposed to the typical 450g pound standard today.

but we did live in the motherland! hooray koenigsberg! hooray kaliningrad!

so losers, funny-looking, and ridiculously overweight! sweet!

Amazing

http://despair.com/viewall.html

i'm up!

it is currently 5:30 pm. i woke up and it was dark; this distressed me very much. i hoped i hadn't slept until some ungodly hour like 3 am ... but fortunately it was only 5:30. that's not too bad right? only 9.5 hours of sleep. right? RIGHT? someone back me up here.

More on future pets

I'm not a huge dog person, but if I were ever to get one, it would be a komondor. They're the big white dogs with the dreadlocks, like this one:

More importantly, its the dog featured on the cover of Beck's Odelay. I think the reason I like them so much is that when they walk their dreadlocks swish from side to side and you can't actually see their face. It's kind of useless.

If I was to get a cat, it would be a black Bombay cat that would receive a pretentious but appropirately classy name like Juniper or Sassafrass. It would be smart, sleek and slightly evil, though in an adorable way. The only problem would be that Cuddles would have the advantage of being able to crush my cat by sitting on it.

Today is a special day

Last evening Marina Fisher began writing her 10 page art history paper that was due today. She had procastinated slightly on friday and saturday, but by Sunday evening she had 5 pages of single spaced notes and was ready to begin wrting at 1 in the morning. This morning I woke up at 8 planning to start my day early and get on a good schedule for taking my 9:15 exams. At various points during the night I had awoken and sadly noted that Marina was not yet asleep. However, this still failed to prepare me for the shock as I was getting up that I would bump into Marina... going to bed. She took a short shower at about 8:10 and then prompty got into bed with her hair still wet and fell fast aslep. It is currently 4:30 in the afternoon and she is still very much asleep. The fact that today is rainy and dark is making things easier, but this is still an impressive accomplishment. I don't believe this event merits useless points since Marina was writing a paper and not say, playing pocket tanks. Still, even if she wakes up around dinner time she's going to be stuck in a nocturnal cycle for quite some time. Unless she manages to sleep until tomorrow morning, which would be pretty much amazing.

my future cat

i would name it cuddles, clearly.

useless and sad

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/13/water.intox.ap/index.html

I feel really bad for this lady and her family, but at the same time this has to be one of the stupidest and most pointless ways to die of all time. And for what? A Nintendo Wii? I'm sure the radio station gave one to her children out of pity afterwards, but still, this is pretty bad.

what they feed us at harvard

as part of tomorrow's lunch menu:

"chop sticks"

is that a good choice?

Can someone please shoot the person who plays techno music in the room above us?

I don't know who this person is, but it's driving me nuts.

an old catalogue of quotes.

So, it occurred to us today that we have been concealing a long history of marina's genius from the world, so we have decided to present marina's quotes from last year. a nearly complete collection:

“When it pretty much comes down to it, I’m too lazy to do anything.”

“I’m not sure how I got in, cuz I’m really kind of retarded.”

“Russia’s really big. It’s like a monster!”

“Would you like to smell my carpet?” [also: i would like to point out, this happened ALL the time]

"My tongue burns with pleasure.”

Kate: I really like these peppermint cookies.
Marina: They are.

“I honestly am just like a laundry whore.”

“Do I taste like the sorrows of the motherland?”

“You know what I have discovered in life? If you actually do work instead of complaining about it, you have a lot more time for sleeping.”

“You have a really bad after taste”
“Your mom has a really bad aftertaste… that would be funny.”

Kate: I don’t like American cheese.
Marina: As opposed to what, heathen cheese?

“At least I’m good at puzzles.”
[explanatory note: she is terrible at puzzles]

“And the fun thing was, I had a White Russian. And I’m a white Russian, so it was just cool.”

Marina: Isn’t Vietnamese a type of Asian?
Josh: Yes, it’s a flavor.
Marina: Would you say it’s cherry flavored? or grape-nut flavored?

“I don’t make fun of people. Except myself. And crippled people.”

“What am I doing with these? [holds up jeans] They do not live in the bathroom.”

On hair:
“I think furry implies cute. Like it could be on their chest, but pink or something.”

“My mom thinks gay people need to be cured.”

Marina: Wait, are your parents really religious?
Kate: Um, yeah
Marina: Like, normal religious or like, Bible-thumping religious?”

“Do you have to be able to speak Jewish?” (asking what occurs at Seder)

“I didn’t think you learn English in the country—they teach you farm growing or something.”

“We should go to prison so we could watch Emma.”

“Wow, I just got a nut stuck in my cleavage…I’m always getting shit stuck in there... I had matzo in there like all of Passover. I would check, and it’d be like, wow, there’s pieces of matzo in there.”

“It’s not south like ‘y’all,’ it’s south like ‘hola.’”

“It’s my fucking bee.”

Anna: I’m hungry.
Marina: Me too. Can we eat tomorrow?

“It’s been raining nonstop…it’s like God is menstruating or something.”

“You cut me to the queak.”

“Sometimes I don’t have very much control over my verbal spewage.”

On the Mormon Tabernacle in San Diego:
Marina: Isn’t it beautiful? I’ve been inside it, but not in the biblical sense.
Kate: What you do mean?
Marina: Like, I didn’t have sexual relations with it.

Marina: Hey guys, do you know if sinks are made of metal? Because my phone was attracted to it.
Anna: Your phone is attracted to things?
Marina: Yeah, I was taking a handwash and I felt something thrust forward and it wasn’t my penis. Because I don’t have one.

Romans were violent. But this violent?

Christina: Do people say things like "um" in all different languages?

Marina: Yes. Except Latin, where they probably just speared each other.

clarification

(p.s. I just want to point out that the label "motherland" refers to the entire post-Soviet world, not Russia in particular...)

And you thought Icelandic was bad.

Today I was at work and had nothing to do, so I was reading the books I had just finished working on. Seeing as my choices were things like "The Economic Encyclopedia of the Volgograd Region" and "Metallurgy in the Urals in the 1990s," I selected the English-Tajik dictionary.

So, seeing as there are characters that aren't in the Russian alphabet, I was looking at the pronunciation guide. Everything is going along just fine; I'm learning that there are some interesting sounds. Until I get to one entry:

Ғғ : pronounced as the "gh" in Paris.

Um...okay?

speaking of useless animals...

marina found this. amazing. thank you, cnn, for your incredible journalism. you really get the stories that change the world.

Video: Fat cat gets busted

plus, the owner has an awesome [polish?] accent.

Can someone please shoot the yippy dog next door?

Because I'm too busy studying physics to do it.

it's shady in the early morning

shady = one roommate waking up at 5:30 am and going to the bathroom, only to discover that the light (automatic, wasteful, and generally satanic, by the way) is still on from the time when another roommate was in the bathroom searching for her glasses before going to sleep ... oh, about 20 min earlier.

these roommates shall remain nameless.

F20's mean-spirited antenna

our TV antenna has feelings. lots of feelings. sometimes it gets angry and makes the TV image go bad ... or just go away entirely. the antenna was raised with strict moral values - it doesn't believe in males and females sitting together on the same couch while watching House. when the offending male (one "isaac meister") got up tonight and sat apart from alana and me, the antenna was placated and all was well.

fortunately for us corrupted, morally lax souls, the antenna is easily tricked. replacing isaac's body in the corner with our christmas shrublet seem to satisfy the antenna for the rest of the night. or perhaps the antenna is really smarter than we think - and just pleased that the spirit of christmas lives on in F20.

Do you speak Old Norse?

because apparently some mexicans do ...

because PPP is so much better than writing papers.

getting ready to play...


marina, looking cool with her single earring.


kate, sad because she had to put something back.

anna had the crown. and a ring.

marina, those don't go there. "this is the worst jewelry ever."


kate stole the crown.


alana: "it's exactly the same as when i was little, except with more swearing."

marina: "i'm going to be the pretty pretty princess!"
alana: "yeah, except you won't be pretty."


kate got the ring stuck on her finger. loser.


alana: "mardi gras jewelry is classier than this."


kate was the pretty pretty princess the second round.


definitely a good choice. good riddance history, social studies, and lit papers.