Midget seeing-eye horse

Title says it all

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/28/guide.horse.ap/index.html

Sports fans are useless

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/nfl/specials/playoffs/2006/01/21/bc.fbn.bears.earlydeliv.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

Is it just me, or is something about this story a little weird?

Kitten cannon

I'm not kidding. It's a game where you shoot a cat out of a cannon and watch it bounce along a field of explosives, trampolines, spikes and other objects to see how far it goes. Of course, using my great knowledge of physics I know that it is best to send it off at 45 degrees, though ultimately you have to just hope it doesn't get eaten by a venus fly trap (which yes, is one of the objects on the field). Also, Daft Punk plays in the opening credits. I think this game pretty much sums up the spirit of F20.

http://addictinggames.com/kittencannon.html

when deer attack

http://www.emailthis.clickability.com/et/emailThis?clickMap=viewThis&etMailToID=708190402&pt=Y

again, cnn - thank you for bringing us the stories that really matter.

not so cute

is this thing missing a mouth or what? how embarrassing.

descended from losers?

apparently i have [german/prussian] ancestors who were generals in the napoleonic wars (for the holy roman empire), and both world wars (the general in WWII, in defense of my non-Nazi family were not directly related to me, and the one who was in the military hated Hitler). in other words, my family is partially responsible for a lot of military defeat and loss. i guess not all is bad, though. we also fought in the franco-prussian war, which was terribly successful, provided you weren't french. one even died in belgium barely a month after WWI broke out! how honorable!

plus, they looked ridiculous and prussian in all these old photographs. hooray! i have a lot to look forward to!

also, my great great great great grandfather weighed over 300 german pounds, which is based on a 500g pound, as opposed to the typical 450g pound standard today.

but we did live in the motherland! hooray koenigsberg! hooray kaliningrad!

so losers, funny-looking, and ridiculously overweight! sweet!

Amazing

http://despair.com/viewall.html

i'm up!

it is currently 5:30 pm. i woke up and it was dark; this distressed me very much. i hoped i hadn't slept until some ungodly hour like 3 am ... but fortunately it was only 5:30. that's not too bad right? only 9.5 hours of sleep. right? RIGHT? someone back me up here.

More on future pets

I'm not a huge dog person, but if I were ever to get one, it would be a komondor. They're the big white dogs with the dreadlocks, like this one:

More importantly, its the dog featured on the cover of Beck's Odelay. I think the reason I like them so much is that when they walk their dreadlocks swish from side to side and you can't actually see their face. It's kind of useless.

If I was to get a cat, it would be a black Bombay cat that would receive a pretentious but appropirately classy name like Juniper or Sassafrass. It would be smart, sleek and slightly evil, though in an adorable way. The only problem would be that Cuddles would have the advantage of being able to crush my cat by sitting on it.

Today is a special day

Last evening Marina Fisher began writing her 10 page art history paper that was due today. She had procastinated slightly on friday and saturday, but by Sunday evening she had 5 pages of single spaced notes and was ready to begin wrting at 1 in the morning. This morning I woke up at 8 planning to start my day early and get on a good schedule for taking my 9:15 exams. At various points during the night I had awoken and sadly noted that Marina was not yet asleep. However, this still failed to prepare me for the shock as I was getting up that I would bump into Marina... going to bed. She took a short shower at about 8:10 and then prompty got into bed with her hair still wet and fell fast aslep. It is currently 4:30 in the afternoon and she is still very much asleep. The fact that today is rainy and dark is making things easier, but this is still an impressive accomplishment. I don't believe this event merits useless points since Marina was writing a paper and not say, playing pocket tanks. Still, even if she wakes up around dinner time she's going to be stuck in a nocturnal cycle for quite some time. Unless she manages to sleep until tomorrow morning, which would be pretty much amazing.

my future cat

i would name it cuddles, clearly.

useless and sad

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/13/water.intox.ap/index.html

I feel really bad for this lady and her family, but at the same time this has to be one of the stupidest and most pointless ways to die of all time. And for what? A Nintendo Wii? I'm sure the radio station gave one to her children out of pity afterwards, but still, this is pretty bad.

what they feed us at harvard

as part of tomorrow's lunch menu:

"chop sticks"

is that a good choice?

Can someone please shoot the person who plays techno music in the room above us?

I don't know who this person is, but it's driving me nuts.

an old catalogue of quotes.

So, it occurred to us today that we have been concealing a long history of marina's genius from the world, so we have decided to present marina's quotes from last year. a nearly complete collection:

“When it pretty much comes down to it, I’m too lazy to do anything.”

“I’m not sure how I got in, cuz I’m really kind of retarded.”

“Russia’s really big. It’s like a monster!”

“Would you like to smell my carpet?” [also: i would like to point out, this happened ALL the time]

"My tongue burns with pleasure.”

Kate: I really like these peppermint cookies.
Marina: They are.

“I honestly am just like a laundry whore.”

“Do I taste like the sorrows of the motherland?”

“You know what I have discovered in life? If you actually do work instead of complaining about it, you have a lot more time for sleeping.”

“You have a really bad after taste”
“Your mom has a really bad aftertaste… that would be funny.”

Kate: I don’t like American cheese.
Marina: As opposed to what, heathen cheese?

“At least I’m good at puzzles.”
[explanatory note: she is terrible at puzzles]

“And the fun thing was, I had a White Russian. And I’m a white Russian, so it was just cool.”

Marina: Isn’t Vietnamese a type of Asian?
Josh: Yes, it’s a flavor.
Marina: Would you say it’s cherry flavored? or grape-nut flavored?

“I don’t make fun of people. Except myself. And crippled people.”

“What am I doing with these? [holds up jeans] They do not live in the bathroom.”

On hair:
“I think furry implies cute. Like it could be on their chest, but pink or something.”

“My mom thinks gay people need to be cured.”

Marina: Wait, are your parents really religious?
Kate: Um, yeah
Marina: Like, normal religious or like, Bible-thumping religious?”

“Do you have to be able to speak Jewish?” (asking what occurs at Seder)

“I didn’t think you learn English in the country—they teach you farm growing or something.”

“We should go to prison so we could watch Emma.”

“Wow, I just got a nut stuck in my cleavage…I’m always getting shit stuck in there... I had matzo in there like all of Passover. I would check, and it’d be like, wow, there’s pieces of matzo in there.”

“It’s not south like ‘y’all,’ it’s south like ‘hola.’”

“It’s my fucking bee.”

Anna: I’m hungry.
Marina: Me too. Can we eat tomorrow?

“It’s been raining nonstop…it’s like God is menstruating or something.”

“You cut me to the queak.”

“Sometimes I don’t have very much control over my verbal spewage.”

On the Mormon Tabernacle in San Diego:
Marina: Isn’t it beautiful? I’ve been inside it, but not in the biblical sense.
Kate: What you do mean?
Marina: Like, I didn’t have sexual relations with it.

Marina: Hey guys, do you know if sinks are made of metal? Because my phone was attracted to it.
Anna: Your phone is attracted to things?
Marina: Yeah, I was taking a handwash and I felt something thrust forward and it wasn’t my penis. Because I don’t have one.

Romans were violent. But this violent?

Christina: Do people say things like "um" in all different languages?

Marina: Yes. Except Latin, where they probably just speared each other.

clarification

(p.s. I just want to point out that the label "motherland" refers to the entire post-Soviet world, not Russia in particular...)

And you thought Icelandic was bad.

Today I was at work and had nothing to do, so I was reading the books I had just finished working on. Seeing as my choices were things like "The Economic Encyclopedia of the Volgograd Region" and "Metallurgy in the Urals in the 1990s," I selected the English-Tajik dictionary.

So, seeing as there are characters that aren't in the Russian alphabet, I was looking at the pronunciation guide. Everything is going along just fine; I'm learning that there are some interesting sounds. Until I get to one entry:

Ғғ : pronounced as the "gh" in Paris.

Um...okay?

speaking of useless animals...

marina found this. amazing. thank you, cnn, for your incredible journalism. you really get the stories that change the world.

Video: Fat cat gets busted

plus, the owner has an awesome [polish?] accent.

Can someone please shoot the yippy dog next door?

Because I'm too busy studying physics to do it.

it's shady in the early morning

shady = one roommate waking up at 5:30 am and going to the bathroom, only to discover that the light (automatic, wasteful, and generally satanic, by the way) is still on from the time when another roommate was in the bathroom searching for her glasses before going to sleep ... oh, about 20 min earlier.

these roommates shall remain nameless.

F20's mean-spirited antenna

our TV antenna has feelings. lots of feelings. sometimes it gets angry and makes the TV image go bad ... or just go away entirely. the antenna was raised with strict moral values - it doesn't believe in males and females sitting together on the same couch while watching House. when the offending male (one "isaac meister") got up tonight and sat apart from alana and me, the antenna was placated and all was well.

fortunately for us corrupted, morally lax souls, the antenna is easily tricked. replacing isaac's body in the corner with our christmas shrublet seem to satisfy the antenna for the rest of the night. or perhaps the antenna is really smarter than we think - and just pleased that the spirit of christmas lives on in F20.

Do you speak Old Norse?

because apparently some mexicans do ...

because PPP is so much better than writing papers.

getting ready to play...


marina, looking cool with her single earring.


kate, sad because she had to put something back.

anna had the crown. and a ring.

marina, those don't go there. "this is the worst jewelry ever."


kate stole the crown.


alana: "it's exactly the same as when i was little, except with more swearing."

marina: "i'm going to be the pretty pretty princess!"
alana: "yeah, except you won't be pretty."


kate got the ring stuck on her finger. loser.


alana: "mardi gras jewelry is classier than this."


kate was the pretty pretty princess the second round.


definitely a good choice. good riddance history, social studies, and lit papers.

Sadly, I am not shocked.

http://blog.kievukraine.info/2007/01/ukrainian-plane-crew-arrested-on.html

This is one I probably shouldn't show my mother. I would never be allowed in the country.

The Moment of Realization

6:08 pm:

Alana: I've been awake for more hours before noon today than you have total.

Marina: No you haven't! ..... oh.

cold=hungry?

Kate: "I'm freezing cold!"

Marina: "Maybe you're hungry!"

marina!

so i am sitting here, contemplating continuing work on my paper that is due at 5 pm tomorrow. it is 3:05 pm. and suddenly marina comes stumbling out of her room, in her pajamas.

yeah, she just work up. apparently she slept past her 2 pm alarm. she was even supposed to be at work at 3.

how can one be so useless? sometimes, i just don't get it.

i guess this is 36?

Pathetic

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/07/tigger.ap/index.html

I don't know what's more amazing- the fact that a disney character beat up a small child, or that this story made breaking news on cnn.com.

Yes, fish=money.

The most important piece of information to be gleaned from Adam Smith's masterpiece The Wealth of Nations is found on page 38, volume I (Liberty Fund edition), according to the index. You're reading along, trying to get ideas for your next paper that's due entirely too soon and you can't get anything done on because Anna keeps distracting you for crying out loud, and suddenly you come across the entry:

[Cod used as money, 38.]

And you think, "I had no idea."

tally of uselessness, as of january 7

tally of uselessness totals:
alana: 12
anna: 10
kate: 14
yuliya: 2

and
marina: 35

wow!

Hooray for January 29th!

Found in our Iceland guidebook:


Um...slightly confused as to how to pronounce 'furry' without the 'f' or 'rr'...

Also, did you know that Reykjavik oozes charm like magma?

pictures of kate. and me. but mostly kate.

kate and i are so photogenic.
first, strategically cropped:


check out how i gaze lovingly at her.


awesome.

Our Mascot

sometimes we wish all dogs were famished and had explosives strapped to their backs.

34DDD

when your head can fit into your bra ... something is wrong.